The commercial ends with a woman saying, in an uplifting tone:

“Use your period for good.”

Man, what a line! If I was drinking something I would have definitely splattered it all over the place. How do they come up with this stuff?!

I just noticed my site has practically no other pictures of myself (anymore). Well I guess if you’re wondering what I looked like in 2003, there you go, times 3. I pretty much look exactly the same right now, except slightly thinner and less tan.

All kidding aside, these are actually clones. If you didn’t already know, scientists have preserved my DNA for the cloning of a future biogenetically engineered army to take over the world.

I have to admire Mario Lopez’s composure. You know he’s trying to keep himself from laughing. Classic!

From the satirical Canadian TV special “Talking to Americans” hosted by Rick Mercer of This Hour Has 22 Minutes fame. Talking to Americans reveals how little Americans know about Canada and the rest of the world by asking regular Americans, university students, professors, celebrities, and even famous politicians questions about their neighbours to the north.

In Part 1, Rick visits New York City, Little Rock Arkansas, Mt. Rushmore, and Columbia University.

I went to Costco yesterday and I bought a case of Coke and box of Mentos. Not to do this experiment but just to consume them. Oddly all the videos out there only use Diet Coke so I guess regular Coke is okay. But I’m still not eating them together, lest my stomach explode.

Aside: The trick is amusing but the kids that filmed this seemed a little too excited about a flying coke bottle.

The Science of Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct … leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”

This student received the only “A”

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com

It’s a bunch of quotes overheard by people in New York City submitted to the website. Seriously, I almost let go a mouthful of water.

Original Movie Poster of The Transporter

As you all may know, The Transporter 2 is coming out in September and I have been screwed over by production once again! They have used advanced digital technology (that puts Star Wars III to shame) to superimpose Mr. Statham’s face onto my body throughout the movie. I have been unable thus far to retrieve the original movie poster for Transporter 2 due to tight secure security (because of the leak the first time). But I will succeed! And when I do, rest assured the truth shall be revealed on this site.