Idealist Emoting Style

Life Purpose

With clipboard, furrowed brow, and clear-eyed conviction, they eagle life’s unfold. Brisk of walk, crisp of talk, they brook no fools, slipshods nor lackadaisicals. They are the evolutionary Idealists, who from podiums of perfection and in voice of perfect-pitch, inspire others to strive for excellence in all undertakings. Driven from birth to do all, be all, learn all, Idealists walk the path of lists, guided by glowing, growing dones along the way. As bound by corporeal To-Do List, as by covenant to complete, their purpose is to insure that compromise today does not compromise future.

Intimacy & Emotion

While they have tremendous faith in their own abilities to produce and to lead, unconsciously, Idealists fear that unless they take control…all will be lost. Their fear may be justified. The world advances in every field of endeavour, by march of improvement to time’s measure. Perfection is crucial to progress. Care taken in the perfect setting of first blocks, builds solid foundations and straight walls. Idealists are the historical-bearers of perfection keys. However fair or unfair, the blunt and brunt of responsibility is borne by those who see the highest potential in selves and in others and demand its fulfillment. Idealists are the ones frowning and focusing on what went wrong, while others celebrate anyway. From the seeds of Idealist discontent and disappointment do great and greatness germinate.

No matter what Idealists do, they tend to think “…it could be better.” They try harder than most, they feel more responsible than most and harder than deserved on self. They push impatiently toward perfection, even if beyond the scope or scent of realistic. Stopping and smelling the roses is unlikely for them. They’d be distracted by stray grass-clippings along the pathway and either overlook the roses altogether or view them through disappointment-tainted glasses.

It is an Idealist husband who loses interest in his wife because of weight gain after child-bearing. It is an Idealist woman who visits a new neighbour, and recounts, in accented “tsk-tsk,” the decor of the house, the disarray of the bathroom and the neighbour’s unfortunate lisp. It’s not that Idealists are consciously hyper-critical or personally validated through fault-finding; they’re just intrinsically disappointed in the way things are, as opposed to their vision of what could and should be.

Idealists are born, not made

These individuals have high personal standards they strive to maintain or surpass and seem compelled to foster or foist equal aspirations in others. Idealists are not the product of childhood trauma, overly critical parents or a too-demanding society. Nor are they handicapped by a too-heavy cross to bear or burdened with a disappointment laden chip-on-shoulder, despite others’ suspicions. Their drive and ambition are nature and full-blown at birth. Others could sooner stop time than change Idealists.

Deep down, whether they admit it or not, Idealists want to come out on top in every situation. They tend to position themselves for best advantage and, luckily for others, they often succeed. If one personality were selected to represent planet and specie at an intergalactic trade-show, Idealists would be a wise if not best choice. Not only would they do us proud socially, they’d most likely return bulging economic benefits. These are the phenomenals who can turn sow ears into silk purses. They are thinkers, planners and managers of the highest, most productive order; and perfectionists to boot.

Money begets power

Evolutionarily, they are among the most wealthy and powerful individuals on the planet. Idealist’s greatest gift is creative problem-solving. They are endowed with an oversized ego to withstand controversy and override compromise, and a mind that travels at the speed of light. They thrive on doing the impossible, skating risk’s razor-edge and sweetening challenges by demanding all be done perfectly. Perfect is a word they seem to have invented and feel personally responsible for protecting.

To admire Idealists for their greatest gift, their one-of-a-kind minds, should be a relatively easy thing to do. But smart never wore as many thorns as when worn by these individuals. They don’t like things to remain the way they are. They want to improve everything they see or touch, including people. They tend to bring out the competitiveness and defensiveness in others. Milo, the enterprising character from Joseph Heller’s Catch-22, is dominant Idealist in one or two realms. There are many, many Idealists on the planet, and many are household familiar. To them, money is power and they’re not afraid to say so. Others would be wise to take heed when Idealists say it, however. “Whatever it takes” is not only a belief this style subscribes to…it’s their motto.

Many are self-made and uphold the view that abundance comes by way of hardship and workship. When socializing, Idealists find it entertaining and educational to swap tales of fiscal follies endured and victories won along their pathway to success.” How did you make your money?” is a personality-typical curiosity. They tend to be eternal students, ever-enrolled in this course of study or in pursuit of that interest. At trade-shows, conventions or seminars, the majority of attendants are Idealist. They like being on top, so staying apprised of the latest and newest innovations is homework for them.

When struggling financially they can be tempest incarnate. They shake their fists at injustices that are surely conspiring against them, bemoan the lax laws, berate the tax man and kick Fido for spite. When successful they are expansive and generous, and seldom home long enough for Fido to know, far less fear.

Not for general consumption

These individuals walk briskly and confidently down the centre of life. They leave enough room for others, but do not step aside, stop at obstacle or run at threat. There is a crisp-coolness about them that assures and unsettles at once - much like stopping at the neighbours but chatting with them, through their closed screen door. Idealists are not for general consumption; most are welcomed but few get invited in. They often have a long list of well-known business associates and acquaintances, but few near and dear friends. Idealists, generally, are highly selective in their personal relations and relationships.

They are often strikingly attractive and fastidious about appearance. Their manner of attire tends to be sophisticated, elegant, expensive and often sexually appealing. Their intent is to attract not titillate, as Idealists are more of the “look but don’t touch” variety. Physically, they’re often weight-proportional or thinner and often equate being overweight with lack of self-control. They tend to shed unwanted weight rather quickly, themselves. Their controlling tendency, if not tempered with patience, may lead to eating disorders.

Idealists take pains to make favourable first impressions. They follow fashion and fashion shows world wide. They like quality and style and don’t mind working hard to afford the best money can buy. Whatever first impressions others have of Idealists, is intended. These individuals don’t just throw themselves together. They fuss. For them, external appearances reflect internal standards. They judge a book by its cover and product by its packaging. As Idealists groom themselves, do they groom and maintain their property and possessions. For instance, when Idealists trade-in their old car, it may need work under the hood but the body and interior are often in mint condition.

These individuals don’t need others to disappoint them; they’re more than capable of doing that on their own. Disappointment usually dances around two issues: recognition and reward. How close or far Idealists are from top rungs of economic, social and own-expectation ladders, determines their level of self-disappointment. Few suffer the angst and anguish of general disillusion to the same extent as them.

Idealists seem to have a split-screen-view embedded in their ocular dimension: one before screen upon which reality is run and one after screen showing their new, improved version. Unfortunately for them and others, Idealists spend most of their time viewing the after screen and demanding amendment for the disparity found between their view and the rest of the world’s.

Laurels and wreaths

Their modus operandi and modus vivendi tend to rent peace and ruffle feathers regularly, for they render change in a forthright manner. It’s Idealist’s persistent, perfectionistic striving that guides the rudder of destiny’s direction. Theirs is a future-tending responsibility and one they shoulder with unwavering dedication and determination. Idealists remind us that laurels rested upon soon become wreaths.

By focusing on perfection and demanding the best of self and others, Idealists may deprive themselves of the joyous part of living and life. Perennial disappointment between what is and what could be, can physically manifest. Their mouths may pucker or the corners turn down, reflective of inner discontent with outer mediocrity. Low self-esteem is a state Idealists are susceptible to, or familiar with, which fuels their drive for over-achievement. One fear of theirs is being found inferior to the task. Not meeting their own or not exceeding others’ expectations is failure, to them. Failure is their Achilles’ heel.

Their goals focus less on global betterment than on personal recognition and monetary reward for their bigger-faster-better accomplishments. It is not enough for them to earn top-sales status at the office. Idealists aspire to being number-one in their field. It is not enough for them to have done an excellent job mowing and trimming their yard. Their pride is short-lived if the neighbour’s looks better. Unless their performance stands out, stands taller and shines brighter comparatively, Idealists can be self-disappointed. Too-quick and too-soon do they conclude, “I’ve failed.” Why?…because of their need for recognition and wealth.

Idealists tend to compare themselves to others in terms of fame, wealth and influence. Money is their measure of success and they tend to value “all” according to karat-weight. They can be conspicuous-consumers who display material wealth as tangible proof of achievement and worth. To identify the Idealists in your social circle, look for the ones with the most toys, the latest innovations, fashionable clothing and a distinct preference for gold and diamond jewelry. When buying gifts for these individuals, two rules apply: make it exquisite and expensive. They most likely have the catalogues, but are least likely to mail-order shop. They like to know, in-person, what they’re buying.

They tend to be excellent money managers. While they may not be the hands-on doers or volunteers, they generously provide the money that feeds the hungry, saves the whales and plants the trees in every needy-spot round the world. (The fact that they are also the ones who bought up the farmland, contracted the whalers, and chopped down the rain forests, is the flip side of their charity-coin). Successful Idealists are often drawn to philanthropic service in later life. Generally, and often strongly, they oppose social welfare programs.

Idealists display success…

…they wear it; they drive it; they live in it; they play with it; they prefer to socialize with others who have it; they donate it; their business reflects it - and they put it on their business cards for others to read. (Business cards are an Idealist innovation). Pride in doing is not the kind of pride that satisfies. They need billboard-size recognition, an encouraging nod of general permission from the general population, before they’ll allow themselves to be proud of their accomplishments and their being.

These valuable, perfectionistic, workaholic individuals, who seem chronically confident, tend to be ultra-insecure. For all their bravado and risk-taking they can be easily and deeply hurt by others, and even mortally crushed by their greatest fear: failure. Idealists do not dare think themselves successful until they’ve earned enough praise and heard enough outside applause, to drown out their own noisy self-doubt. To bring out the best in Idealists: first applaud them for what they are - smart, then applaud their achievements. Such admiration is the surest way into their heart as well.

Idealists enjoy sexual relations and are highly discriminating in their choice of mates. On their lists are usually two qualifying conditions that “potentials” are ideally expected to meet: physical attractiveness and intellectual compatibility. Of those two, attractiveness is first and intellect a far-enough distant second to be dispensed with. Idealists, themselves, are the ones who require others love them for their mind. Sexual satisfaction begins and ends at ego, They don’t enter or engage in sexual relations, unless their ego is pleased firstly and fully. If the way to some hearts is gastronomical seduction, for Idealists, mind-foreplay is recommended. Phone sex, cerebral stimulation appeal to them. In seduction, sensuality, and sex they are energetic and generous partners.

Love, money, power

Prenuptial agreements are an Idealist innovation. Their idea of intimacy doesn’t include carte-blanche trust. Prenuptial agreements are their insurance against being professionally handcuffed. For Idealists, there’s only one constant in life… change. “Till death do us part,” can seem threatening to these individuals, who won’t wear last year’s threads. Idealists are born to effect change. Being thwarted in their work or stymied in their efforts by another, especially an uncooperative or vengeful mate, is a chilling prospect that quickly removes the rose from their romantic glasses. They usually avoid such vulnerabilities by defining control issues and gaining signed acceptance, before nuptials are exchanged.

Idealist mistrust of emotional intimacy can be so ingrained that many equate self-fulfillment with financial worth. It is not uncommon for them to achieve highest climactic satisfaction from their work, rather than from their intimate relations. Something is wrong when love of work is more orgasmic and fulfilling than love of others. Idealists use perfection as others use battering-rams. Their intimidation works, too, if keeping others off-balance or at bay is the objective. One Idealist hallmark: they will not be told what to do. Asking them to re-evaluate their priorities is jaw-flapping-futility, for they’ll only change when desire equals reason for deciding and doing.

The world and the people in it are pretty good, but…

That but is the needle-eye through which others must pass before earning their appreciation or sharing their intimacy. That standard is obviously successful professionally, where battering-rams may be effective when winning “no matter what” is called for. Perfectionistic control can ruin personal relationships, however. Mates can find themselves jumping through hoops trying to please their Idealist mate, who would love them or respect them… if only this or that were changed. In the “never let them see you sweat” workplace, emotionality is a sign of weakness. In personal relations, emotional honesty is the only glue that works. Intimacy demands butt-naked vulnerability from each, before unconditional love, trust and acceptance are possible. Such up-close scrutiny and inspection, Idealists tend to avoid.

First of all, unconditional acceptance of another is near-impossible for perfectionists like them. Secondly, they seem to always be in the process of stretching toward a next in self-improvement, because they’re seldom satisfied with their current self. Idealists fear that close inspection might find them more raw clay than fine art. Others know this as painful, personal rejection; to Idealists it is realization of their greatest personal fear: failure. When it comes time for emotional honesty, these individuals tend to get busier at work and send love by proxy of card and gift.

Ideal mates

Often Idealists choose mates that are physically attractive but lacking self-confidence. Needy personality types are attracted to their confidence and the security they provide. For a while, Idealists enjoy the challenge of remolding their willing-clay mates. However, Idealists require intellectual stimulation most of all… in their professional and private lives. Unless they marry for lust and love, Idealist’s passion may find greatest expression at work. Love, for these individuals, begins in mind. A mate who cannot vibrate their grey matter will not long excite their libido.

Few personalities are strong enough to handle the full range of Idealist complexity, without wilting or fading when the going gets rough. Idealists live hard, full and fast. Like volcanoes, all is fine until they erupt. Instead of lava, Idealists spew venomous blame - their characteristic way of venting frustration. Most hear blame not the pain, and when unable to bear the heat, withdraw or exit. Potential mates must be prepared to put up with a lot of smoke and flame before Idealist trust is won and their emotional truth reveals. Few personalities have what it takes to coax out the truculent lover, who hides insecurities and deepest desires behind high-walled perfection. These individuals may not in their lifetime, experience the freedom of naked vulnerability or feel the warmth of intimacy. For Idealists, it is love and lust, or it is more responsibility with companion-perks and family benefits.

Only Idealists find less to embrace than erase in self. There is an old wisdom that claims it is not possible to love another without loving self first. But that old offering may be premature. Until Idealists, themselves, discover the truth of an even older wisdom… money may buy power but can’t buy happiness… such wisdoms will all be perfectly inane.