Mario Kart Double Dash
My roommate Robert and I have been waging a war for the past month. I don’t want to brag but I’m pretty damn good at Mario Kart Double Dash on Gamecube. At least I have not yet met anyone that can beat me. I hold all the saved records. So one day a few weeks ago, Robert decides to take my name off one of the records. It was 50cc Grand Prix Mushroom Cup - the first and easiest map of the game. Not surprisingly, he succeeded. So then I beat his record. Then he beat mine. You get the idea.
It’s been a vicious cycle. We keep getting better times and it’s getting progressively harder to top each other. You can say we have practically perfected 50cc mushroom cup. I currently hold the title. These feats are not for mere mortals. To beat our record takes an extreme amount of skill.
Anyway, I’ve earned a short reprieve because Robert has not been able to beat my current record. I am sure he will sooner or later and when he does, I will beat it again. This war will end soon however, because it seems we are very near the physical limit of how fast the track can be finished. We shall see who is the victor. I’m pretty sure it will be me, because I will not rest until I win.
Goodnight, ladies and gents.
UPDATE: This afternoon, for the heck of it, I fired up Mario Kart again. I just beat my own record by a huge 3 second margin, breaking what I previously thought to be the physical limit or very close to it. It is getting more unlikely that Robert will beat my record. He had enough trouble beating my last record, let alone this new one which trimmed down a huge 3 seconds. I think the map can be finished even faster but I won’t try it now, I’ll wait for Robert to make his move, and then crush him. 
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7 Comments
Oh dear. o_O
Hey folks. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m Phil’s doctor and I have just diagnosed him with TDS (Terminally Deranged Syndrome). Symptoms of this disease include:
1- Spending excessive energy on a pointless game.
2- Trying to beat one’s own record while being fully aware that there is no real prize and no true victor.
3- Wasting an insane number of hours on this “goal,” completely neglecting more important things like presentations and projects that actually DO hold consequences on one’s life.
4- Thinking that being the champion of Mario Kart is a goal worth striving for.
Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I conclude my analysis of our dear Phil Huang. If anyone of you have experienced these symptoms, please report to your local clinic. Treatments will most likely include:
1- Strapping the patient in an strait jacket and immediately handing them over to the proper authorities.
a) If you do not suffer from TDS, you will not struggle and continue on happily to the local asylum.
b) If you do suffer from TDS, you will not struggle and continue on happily with a smile on your face to the local asylum.
The most recent treatment is still in its developmental stages, which includes:
1- Knocking the patient on the temple with a hammer.
2- Knocking the patient on the temple with a rock.
3- Knocking the patient on the temple with a boulder.
If all else fails, then all is lost. Just send the patient to the local sanitarium and let them rot in an empty, white, padded room for the rest of their lives. Don’t worry about your loved ones; it’s fun in there. Really.
I don’t have TDS! I only played games in my free time - I would never prioritize something like video games over more important things like school. Plus it only took me half an hour to beat my last record. I’m just really competitive in whatever I do.
GO PHIL! GO PHIL! UH UH UH IT’S YO BIRTHDAY
lol, happy new years!
So, I know it’s 4 years later lol, but what are those so-called unbeatable records. I pride myself more on my 150cc grand prix all cup tour time seeing as how it’s the most challenging level of racing and includes every track. I think I could take you.
Hi Chris,
The whole “war” started because I held all the records and my roommate just wanted to pick the easiest and shortest map to knock my name off one of the records. We also did this on time trial, not the normal race modes.
Honestly I don’t even remember the times we got because it was so long ago and the GameCube wasn’t mine. But we went back and forth to a point where we’d be surprised if we beat each other’s records because we didn’t think it could be done. We were only beating each other by tenths or hundredths of a second. That’s why at the end when I beat my own record by 3 whole seconds I was shocked. Looking back, I probably should’ve posted my time but when I was making the post, I was too lazy to go downstairs, fire up the GameCube and check.
If you do the time trial on the 50cc first map really fast and enough times, eventually a ghost racer appears. I think this happens on all maps. We didn’t know what it was at first or what triggered it. I’m not talking about your own ghost that you can race against. This was a special ghost that was inserted by the game and it has a VERY good time on the map. We figured this ghost has the fastest possible time (maybe set by the game developers?). We eventually were able to outrun this ghost after enough tries so that’s why I say that whenever we set a new record it surprised us. I think we were pretty close to the fastest possible time the map could be finished.
I have a personal best time of 2:39:00 on Bowser’s castle TIme Trial 150cc. I have the memory card to prove it. I’ve played for years. I’ll play anyone, anywhere, anytime. i pride myself on two games, TEKKEN TAG & MARIO KART DOUBLE-DASH.